Fanon:Moom War Part 1

The Quest

Main Characters
The Wiki tribe is mainly composed of Staff Members and YouTubers. The Staff Members here are the  Members as of September 6, 2018. The YouTubers are the top three winners in the YouTuber FFA, which can be watched here, here, here, here, or here. Also, I included Corrupt X, because who could forget him?

The Story
On their home sandbox server of Silicon Valley 5, the Wiki Tribe, consisting of Pokegeek, Patrik, Grey, Cofefe, Witherboss, Daniel, Loading, North, and HerroPeople, worked on reinforcing their base with the newest technology: Teleporters. Witherboss, an experimenter, placed down teleporters in strategic locations: at the end of lines of Boost Pads. When invaders came in, they might slip and teleport away.

North, an expert on building bases, added more Castle Walls and Mines to reinforce the base. Pokegeek placed more Turrets down. Basically, they were just doing their everyday stuff, and, well, they were incredibly bored.

Just then, their MooTuber friend eXistenZ came rushing in from where he had been scouting in Miami 12.

"Backup," he gasped. "Hackers. Defying the laws of the MooMoo universe."

"How many?" North inquired.

"At least ten. They are in the clan 'ProNoob'. Their top ranking people are named 'iHacker', 'CorruptX2', and 'THEPRO'" was the reply.

"Well then, let's just kill them!" Patrik roared.

"Yes!" Pokegeek agreed.

And so they moved to the server of Miami 12. North, Witherboss, and Grey started building a temporary base. eXistenZ ran out to get some random kills. Daniel, Cofefe, and Loading talked about random MooMoo stuff. Pokegeek, Patrik, and HerroPeople discussed strategy.

"Should we do an all-out attack?" Patrik asked. "We could just charge in and hope for the best. Especially because of eXistenZ, we might win like that."

"No, you idiot," said Pokegeek. "They definitely predicted that we might do something of that sort. I am the leader, and I say what we do!"

"Then what do you say?" Patrik sneered.

"We should go strategically," Pokegeek said.

"And then...?"

"We flank them," HerroPeople interrupted. "One team, the main team goes forth the normal way. Two other smaller teams go on the other sides a short time afterwards."

"I wasn't asking you," Pokegeek said.

"Hey, I just trying to help!" HerroPeople said indignantly.

"Yeah! Can't we make suggestions?" Patrik agreed.

"Fine. But first, we scout," Pokegeek conceded.

"Agreed," Patrik and HerroPeople said at the same time.

"We're going to scout," Pokegeek called. "Stay here, or farm. But make sure there's always someone at the base."

And so, off went Pokegeek, Patrik, and HerroPeople. All the while, Pokegeek and Patrik bickered.

"Why did you get to be leader?" Patrik complained.

"Because of two reasons. One: I'm smarter. I have more edits on the wiki. Two: I created the team first. Deal with it."

"Just because you have more edits doesn't mean that you're smarter," Patrik argued. "It just means that you got there first. Plenty of things I was going to edit, but you did it first. I should be leader."

"You?" Pokegeek said, looking utterly bewildered. "Why should you be leader?"

"As you most certainly know," Patrik said, "I have more discussion posts than you do. This means that I have talked more with our people, which means I can lead them better."

"You can't be&mdash;" Pokegeek started, but he was interrupted by HerroPeople.

"Guys, stop your bickering!" he said. "Look! The enemy base."

"Wait," Pokegeek gasped. "We've got to attack...that?!"

A large, grim-looking castle loomed above them. It was surrounded with triple Castle Walls, lined with Spinning Spikes behind the walls. Past the spikes was a row of Turrets. After the turrets came a large amount of Windmills. Though they could not see it, the three were certain that the inside was filled with Pit Traps. The only easy entrance was through a narrow passage that, again, was most certainly lined with Pit Traps. Patrik's original plan to just charge in and hope for the best was most certainly not going to work. This was no mere mini-base. This was a huge, professionally-made castle.

"What to do, Pokegeek?" Patrik managed, for once asking his superior for advice.

Pokegeek was still staring at the castle, his mouth wide open. Then he unfroze, and announced, "We cannot breach this castle with our current forces. We need to call for reinforcements."

"But who?" complained Patrik. "But who can we call? You yourself said that with our current forces, we cannot break in. We have our best fighters with us, including eXistenZ, and yet we cannot break in. As thick-headed as you are, that information managed to get in. So what do we do?"

"Hold on," Pokegeek said, narrowing his eyes and drawing his daggers. "Are you calling me&mdash;"

"Stop!" HerroPeople whisper-shouted. "Pokegeek, don't resort to violence. Patrik, respect your superiors."

"Yeah!" Pokegeek said triumphantly. "Hear him? Respect me."

Patrik waited until Pokegeek was done talking, and then said, with mock respect, "Okay, then, Mister Pokegeek. What is your suggestion, sire?"

Pokegeek ignored his tone. "eXistenZ is the key here. He can call on his fellow MooTubers to help us!"

Patrik pondered about it. "I suppose...."

"Well, we can discuss back at our base," Pokegeek said. "We've seen the enemy base, and right now, we're kinda in danger. Agree, Herro?"

"Yes," HerroPeople said. "And please don't call me Herro. It's HerroPeople."

"Okie, Herro!" Pokegeek grinned.

HerroPeople rolled his eyes. "Seriously."

"Okay, sorry," Pokegeek said.

They trudged back to their base, with Pokegeek and Patrik arguing as usual, but they weren't as fierce. Both of them&mdash;along with HerroPeople&mdash;were stunned at the strength of their opponent. That was the base they had to destroy and kill its inhabitants?

After walking for several minutes in stunned silence (Pokegeek and Patrik had stopped bickering), they reached the base, where the walls were manned by Cofefe, Grey, and eXistenZ. They found Loading and Daniel standing inside, wandering around the base.

The moment the three entered, everyone rushed towards them. "What's the base like?" Cofefe asked eagerly.

"Yeah, I wanna destroy some freaking hackers who defy the laws of the MooMoo universe!" eXistenZ added.

Their faces must have been grim, because Grey said gravely, "What is it? Too many hackers?"

"I don't know how many hackers there are," Pokegeek said.

"But, we have a much worse problem, even if there are only three hackers," Patrik said.

"Yes," HerroPeople said. "They have an impenetrable base."

eXistenZ burst out laughing. "Oh! I thought it was much worse. I've heard that line before!"

The scouts' faces must not have shown amusement, because eXistenZ calmed down. "Okay.... What is it?"

"Look, eXistenZ," Pokegeek said carefully. "I get that you have a lot of experience destroying bases. Or so-called 'impenetrable bases'. But this one is different. Its walls are triple Castle Walls, with the inside lined with Spinning Spikes. Behind those are the Turrets and the Windmills."

eXistenZ snorted. "Easy enough!"

"The inside is most certainly filled with Pit Traps. Also, although we couldn't see them, we knew that there had to be Spikes and Boost Pads lying around. It's common sense for base traps. The only easy way in is lined with Poison and Spinning Spikes, most certainly filled with Pit Traps, and one wrong move will send us into the Spikes. And if we manage to penetrate the base, we still have the hackers to deal with. Our numbers will be greatly depleted getting in. Those who survive will be low on resources." Pokegeek took a deep breath. "Call on your fellow MooTubers. LightThief, Cacti Fin, whoever. Patrik, go back to our home server and recruit any mercenaries who volunteer. Rest of us will prepare for battle."

"YES SIR!" everyone, even Patrik, shouted.

"Wait," said Patrik. "Where are Witherboss and North?"

Everyone panicked. Then Cofefe remembered himself and said, "They're out farming."

"For that long?" HerroPeople asked.

Pokegeek took out his phone. "Look!" he gasped. "One missed signal. Uh-oh. Around thirty seconds ago, Witherboss and North were spamming the radar button. And they were last radar-ing us near the hacker base." He looked at the people in the base. "AND NONE OF YOU NOTICED?" he roared.

Everyone jumped back.

"Sorry," Pokegeek said. "I lost my cool."

Patrik was the first to excuse himself. "Gotta get the mercenaries."

eXistenZ went next. "My fellow MooTubers are away doing stuff. I will be back in, say, a few days."

That left six people. "Attack?" Cofefe said.

"Were you listening?" Daniel asked. "We can't!"

"It's madness," Loading agreed.

"You heard him," Grey said, tapping his ear. "To attack is madness."

"What do we do, then?" HerroPeople asked.

"Two things could happen," Pokegeek said, "that I allow. One: Patrik and eXistenZ get the reinforcements and we attack. We might fail, but we have to try our best. Two: The hackers attack us first. We have an advantage as we have the base on our side. North and Witherboss's design will not fail."

"Personally, I hope they bring the attack to us," Loading said. "It's better for us."

"It is?" Cofefe asked. "We will not have our best fighter, eXistenZ, and we will not have Patrik, either."

"But&mdash;" started Loading.

"Guys, no bickering," Pokegeek said. "I have enough of that with Patrik.... My point is, we can't control whether or not the hackers will bring the attack to us, so there is no use hoping which will happen. But one will happen. And we will make the hackers pay."

"Yes," growled HerroPeople. "In resources. And blood."

"That's evil," Daniel commented.

HerroPeople shrugged.

"Hey!" Cofefe said. "There's someone outside our base. And he's not a teammate."

Those with bows rushed up and aimed their bows. The melee fighters gripped their swords and polearms.

From his point on the top of the wall, Pokegeek could see the lone figure. It held daggers and was shading its eyes from the sun with a Moo Cap. "What do you want?" he called.

"I am from the team of the hackers," the figure said. Pokegeek gripped his Repeater Crossbow so hard he was afraid the wood might crack.

"I come in peace," the hacker said. "I just wanted to give you two messages. One: You will be attacked and must give up your base. Two: If you resist, you will pay a price. You will pay the same price if you attack me."

With that, three other figures emerged from behind the trees and mines. They were holding two very familiar figures: those of North and Witherboss.

"North! Witherboss!" Grey cried.

From below the walls, Loading stifled a shout of relief. He and Witherboss had been the best of friends.

"Don't do what they say!" Witherboss shouted. "No matter what they threaten."

"Never!" Pokegeek shouted. But he kicked Grey softly. Then he inclined his head and aimed. "I lied. Sorry."

And he fired. So did Grey. They both hit their marks: two of the captors. They fell backwards and healed, but the damage was done. The third captor managed to get a slice at Witherboss, but he quickly healed. North and Witherboss sprinted for the opening in the base, while the melee fighters scooted out of the way.

"No!" cried the messenger. "You will pay! Attack!"

Apparently, the hackers were confident that four people could take down the base manned by eight people and built well. The hackers charged, and Cofefe led the opposing charge, bellowing his war cry, "For coffee!" (Just kidding.)

Individually, each fighter was weaker than a hacker. But North and Witherboss had built the base well, and Cannonballs rained down onto the hackers. Pokegeek, Grey, and Witherboss helped, firing arrows. When Pokegeek couldn't aim very well anymore, he charged down and drew his daggers. At one point, things looked grim. Pokegeek, Cofefe, and Loading had been trapped, and their attackers were about to spike them, but HerroPeople came to the rescue. He looked over his opponent's shoulder, shoved him towards Daniel, and charged to the defense. He placed down a Blocker, here! and there! The magic of the Blockers stopped the spike placement, and allowed the three to break free.

While the hackers were bewildered by what had happened, Pokegeek, with his dagger speed, charged them and placed down a pit trap under each of them. The third was attacked by Cofefe and HerroPeople. Daniel was having trouble holding off his opponent, but this was the hacker Grey and Witherboss were focused on. This made it hard for the hacker.

After Pokegeek trapped the hackers, he surrounded one with spikes turrets, then attacked. The second looked like it might break free, but North&mdash;ah, the savior of the day!&mdash;rushed in with Monkey Tail and Booster Hat and surrounded him with spikes. When the hacker broke the trap, North said, "Ta-ta!" Then he went in and placed a spike right on the hacker. So passed Captor Number Three, the one who hit Witherboss.

The one Daniel was fighting couldn't seem to die. It was Captor Number One, and one of the stronger ones. But Loading came over and started cutting the crud out of him with his daggers. He had equipped Samurai Armor and Corrupt X Wings, so he was one of the faster hitters, and whenever the hacker tried to hit Loading, he got a little taste of his own medicine. Eventually, the combined force of Daniel, Loading, Grey, and Witherboss took him out. The MooMoo god Sidney equipped him with the Shame! hat and he died. So passed Captor Number One.

Two other hackers remained: the one Pokegeek was fighting, and the one Cofefe and HerroPeople were fighting. Captor Number Two, the one fighting Pokegeek, broke out of the spikes and used his bat to hit Pokegeek away.

"Oof!" grunted Pokegeek.

Cofefe turned his head, only for a millisecond, to see what the problem was, but that was enough for the messenger, who was fighting him. He quickly equipped Barbarian Armor and knocked Cofefe away. Now HerroPeople was alone, and he didn't stand a chance against a hacker by himself. The hacker shoved him down and was about to gut him when a horn rang out from the desert.

Everyone turned towards the sound. Then, out of the blue, came a wave of arrows, at least five of them, and they all were aimed at the two surviving hackers. The one standing over HerroPeople got thrown back, and HerroPeople stood up, brushing himself off. Captor Number Two was used as a pincushion, and not even his hacks could make him survive four thirty-damage arrows. So passed Captor Number Two.

Then, out came the mercenaries, with Patrik in the lead. Patrik stared at the messenger cruelly. "Well, well. Looks like we have a little problem, don't we."

"Oh, well," the messenger said. "I might not have won this battle, but good-bye!"

And with that, he used his hacks to equip Booster Hat and Monkey Tail. With his daggers, he became as fast as anyone could. Then he sprinted away.

"Oh no you don't!" roared Grey. "Fire!"

Everyone with arrows fired, but the hacker was too far away, and most arrows fell short. The ones that hit him opened wounds, but those were quickly healed. HerroPeople tried to follow, but no, he was too slow. The messenger was certainly going back to his base. For now, the wiki tribe was safe.

"Well?" Patrik asked Pokegeek. "Didn't handle things so well, did you? Almost letting our new recruit die? Right when he managed to become a Discussions Moderator?"

"For your information, the rest of us were quite busy," Pokegeek replied.

"Fine, then," Patrik said. "Now for important matters. Where are eXistenZ and his friends?"

"They haven't come," Grey said from atop the castle.

"I felt my phone buzzing," Pokegeek said, "while fighting the hackers."

"Whatever were you doing fighting with a phone in your pocket?" Witherboss asked, incredulous.

"You're welcome," Pokegeek said curtly. He took out his phone. "'One missed text'", he read. "It's from eXistenZ. 'I have found LightThief. He is fighting one of his old nemeses, AncientPirate. I am helping him. At this rate, I won't be able to rally all of the MooTubers in time. I will only bring LightThief and Cacti Fin, okay?'"

"Okay," Cofefe said resignedly.

"Why so grim?" Daniel asked. "We won a battle."

"Yes, we won a battle. But the fight is not over. The hackers will be regrouping. The battle of the wiki base is over. The war with the hackers has begun," Cofefe said grimly.

End of Part 1 Read Part 2